Dreams that rise from your deep subconscious are sometimes dangerously not yours. They maybe transmitted from somewhere other than your own imagination. The influencing world playing with your true psyche.

They say nobody knows why you are born on different sides of the fence and depending on which side you fall determines all of your possible futures. This determined life with certainty will affect how you are treated throughout life, and the subjective evil bestowed by the gods over your life. As a person you have to delve deep to know what evil really is. Keep your ear and senses to the wind and find out who is pulling the strings.

Unfortunately, none of this will help but at least you will have your personal integrity restored and finally know humanity for those un-fortuitously chosen is a joke. I am truly sorry if you are enlightened by this and may a true god be with us all. Further illuminating is the string pullers gamble with life after death by choosing not to be civilized or humane at all. I can’t imagine a creator of such a wonderful place condoning what man has developed and become.

If it were a controlled accident I am left to wonder if the data collected was from a live test dummies program. Or just some experiment to observe over a lifetime just what indifferent adversities humans will keep trying to overcome and for what reasons? Or simply part of the master plan which ensures a Job of the world is faced with ever more adversity.

The year is 1987 and following the accident we were extremely tired from the extended evenings events so scrambled to a friends flat for somewhere to just lie down for sleep. I was with the owner of the car and because he was not in the accident I had no grounds to argue from or even defend myself against any immediate reprisals. He was in a demonstrous mood and rightfully so, as it was his proudest of joy that now lay wrecked on the side of Pages Road. There wasn't an ounce of sympathy while he quickly took the couch, leaving me the hardest of floors with what felt like an agonizing softest of bones.

We had left the driver of the car back in the hospital with his measly broken rib. The damage to his spine was not yet known and only evident when he returned to sport. Shame he was one of those blessed with a strong athletic build and very fast when sprinting but after the accident, his gifts were taken from him. He, like me, was never physically the same again and anyone who has felt a high speed to zero impact will know exactly what I am talking about and not feel the same surviving either.

Next day standing over the 1970s Toyota corolla coupe wreckage and with the true pain yet to come out of my body there wasn’t a joint including finger knuckles that did not ache. If you don’t know anything about the early Japanese cars, they were nicknamed aluminum coke cans, a nickname that could not have been more fitting. Crash test dummies and structural integrity testing was far outpaced by the sudden rise in Japanese cars. The new cars sold to the world suddenly had lightweight chases and paneling which were dangerously combined with fuel injected powerful little engines. They were a shiny glinting death trap inside the aluminum can. As many people too lately found out once their engine sat in the front, back seat or even the boot.

My memories flashed causing my knees to almost completely collapse and my bones seemed to take on an extra dimension to aching while steering at that car. Of the accident I had a detailed memory leading up to and into the faster of flash memories. I looked to the owner who in this moment of daylight may have felt a touch of guilt about making me take the floor.

“Fuck mate, how the hell did you survive that”, he said, and noticing his hostility and mood suddenly changed. The back of the car is almost alongside the front engine bay. Missing the parallel axis by about 22 degree and 45 degree pointing up. So folded together and a twisting back on itself as you can with a coke can.

Looking at the side of impact my side and passenger side. The irremovable power poll had sunk into the chassis from the front door lock and virtually folded the rear of the car to the front. The roof had stretched round the now outside dash console, crushing and breaking the back of the passenger seat, leaving just enough space for me to fit into while flat and perpendicular to a normal front facing position. I remembered coming too, opening my eyes to the underside of the roof only inches from my face, my feet and legs were outside and head and shoulders backside down to the seat and the only possible way a person of my size could fit into that space.

Again a sickness came over me as I or nobody really knew how bad the accident was until that moment. My thoughts flashed back immediately after the accident and remembering my first concern. While walking away saying to myself I hope his car is ok. Only nineteen years old and looking at the wreckage it was already a wholly fuck mystery. How I was hoping this car would be ok, those thoughts now felt really stupid.

I knew something was odd, I was looking at an incredible number of variables, causes and effects to execute in precise timing and to go exactly right effectively saving my life, in something that was so screwed up and wrong. The driver’s side left no mystery, looking like a fighter pilots’ cockpit which had been cocooned by the twisted upwards of the rear, leaving the only remaining space in the car. The rest of it was crushed and stretched to nothing.

The Variables

Asleep in the back seat at a party my friend had arrived with the keys he had pinched from the owner. I did not particularly care that he had pinched them which I guess kind of makes me part guilty. But I also hadn’t known as quick as flicking a switch he was going to turn into a human psychopath and one right hand turn, followed by the first right hand bend we would meet a destiny.

Before the first right turn, my senses took over forcing me to climb into the front seat and this was to be lucky point number one because like many lucky points in the accident if I had not, anyone in the back was now history. Strapping myself in as quickly as I possibly could the click of the seatbelt initiated my attention onto him, something was very wrong. The giggle that persists when you speak to it gives it all away. He was unreachable and my immediate screams to “stop the fucking car”, were on death ears and leaving the evil childlike giggle as a sound that is never easily forgotten. His foot was so heavy to the floor I thought to start pulling on the handbrake only too dangerous and immediately knew I was trapped in something that had a highly probable outcome of death.

My eyes persistently flashed back and forwards between road and speedometer as I also knew this road well with my old high school being on it. There was a car in the distant front and we were catching very fast with the speed limit just 50klm. Already up to 140 klm, 94 miles per hour, we came up to the car like a sudden rocket. The driver never lifted from the accelerator and jerked on the wheel right, as you would only do if you were in a hired 30 klm limited go-kart. Surprisingly, we did not end either sideways into the back of that car or flipping down the road beside it. The tires just gripped with the body roll lightening the down force on the tires. We flew past the car and at that moment I knew there was a right bend soon to come and quickly summarized in my head there was a meniscal chance we could make it but only from the wrong side of the road. As soon as I felt the jerk left, I knew for sure.

Virtually on top of the right hand bend and like being woken into a nightmare the driver suddenly realizes where he is and what he is doing. Whatever was controlling him and senses, right now meant nothing to him or me because to our immediate front illuminated by the car lights are three power polls and one of those was very fat. The leading power poll, our powerpoll of destiny had been tactfully placed there to prevent the tank like cars of the 1960s to 1980s from ever breaking them.

A lightweight Japa had no chance and with certainty would have been the one with engine now sitting in the boot. Days later I was visited by the local policeman, and he had said the clean-up crew which are the local fireman were simply mystified not just by the site of the car and with no dead bodies to peel off the dash, but after finding the drive shaft no less than 100 meters from the powerpoll and accident.

Not making any difference, he doesn’t slam on the brakes or even lift from the accelerator, he just manages to scream while premeturely bracing for impact by shielding his eyes and head, with forearms.

I yelled to him ‘try’, as my right arm snaps across the top of the steering wheel, in a desperation I had tried to point the car the way of the bend. Going so fast the rear did as I would have expected when jerked to pass the car which is now directly in our rear with front row seats for spectating an high speed accident. The rear end flicked off the rear tires and like an excellerated swing, swings round into the leading power poll. My head turned into the swing and eyes flashed seeing the power poll inches from my left shoulder and during connection. The powerpoll had made a muffled tink sound on contact and i could see a deep grey in the thin spliters of its side.

Luck for many following cause and effects but number 3. It hit right beside the latch, an inch-to-inch half from my left shoulder and equally important, immediately tearing the latch from the door lock. I am suddenly thrown left out of the car and ironically making for my own space to live outside the accident. On contact my left wrist breaks on the door and the door without a latch is flung open, and I feel my body flung with it like a missile until the seatbelt snaps. I don’t know, maybe it did not snap but only wound out fully extended. The snap was felt with a ferocious force and luck number 4 executed.

If it did not snap at distance my body could not have found the final resting place as it was. If it snapped on time or as the seat belts should, I may have been held more in a space which no longer existed because of the nature of the stretched and crushed roof. Going from 94 miles per hour plus, to zero felt on the width of a two-inch belt. My feet flashed before my eyes up against the night darkened sky.

I came too when stationary, my back to the seat and roof inches from my face while both of my feet are flat on the ground outside the car. Without asking myself is anything broke or am I still in one piece, a movie buff me just said, “It’s going to blow”. I panicked while ferocious wrestling and unable to simply find the latch to the seatbelt. Confused at the constraints and awkwardness to just leave I am suddenly relieved to walk away.

Instantly I am confronted by the driver of the spectator’s car who is frantically asking, “are you alright”. Moments later when calmed by the fact nobody was dead or severely injured the driver then described to me the accident from his front seat view.

His first description I responded by saying ‘that’s impossible.’ I asked him to describe it again because even in a weiry shocked state I was sure he'd lost his marbles. From the point of seeing my feet against the sky to final resting position I had blacked out. In those moments his account sounded only a miracle. He had said we had catapulted round the power poll, sending us down the side of the road, and bounced off the ground three times with three 360 flips.

Other than retracting back into the car a little it was impossible for my position to have changed which left the fact that my torso, legs and feet were untouched outside of the car in three 360 flips.

He wanted to take us to hospital, but I not wanting to go had refused and he eventually gave way to dropping us off back at the party. Later as my left wrist started to ache, and I think the shock was making me feel sick, I asked to be taken to hospital for a checkup.

I did not want to stay overnight and with the sickness passing I deliberately made out my left wrist was not broken. Showing the doctors and nurses I could move my fingers, they let me go.

My friend the driver was in the next cubical and I heard the doctor about to gently probe his ribs and says, ‘I haven’t touched it yet why are you screaming.’ Obviously, my friend had wanted to stay in hospital.

After a sleep on the hardest of floors I ever felt, I returned to the hospital to retrieve something for the pain and have my arm set in plaster. The same doctors and nurses were still on duty and from the next cubicle I overheard their conversations about the early hour’s ordeal. It went somewhere in the order of ‘we sent the wrong one home’, the doctor said while sounding part amused and part angered at whom he kept back in observation, the driver.

Thankfully those days have passed, and cars are thoroughly impact tested with air bags and better safety belts, right! I ask myself would I really feel comfortable while stepping inside a fully automated very fast car. Probably yes because now I really do not care but those that have their wonderous futures ahead might want to consider. It may be so that it is only those born to the right side of the fence with absolute and certain futures who will get to jump in feeling rightfully comfortable.

Never feel jealous of those kinds of people, they may have sold their sole and only gamble that this life is the only life lived. Guess what they do not really know, and they do not know that the devil is in no way integral, honorable or loyal. They do not know that one day riches to rags as entertainment could be their next.